sad

i was reading the chronicle today and there was this ad or whatever for the volunteer call for sxsw. i almost volunteered last year, but my mom did not approve. she didnt like the idea of me "standing on a street corner at night in the middle of downtown austin". which is basically what i did six months later during acl but whatever. i tried to convince her that the crews i was signed up for worked primarily in the convention center. like the one that involved registering either bands and filmmakers who were given the holy platinum badge because of their talent, or those other people who courageously forked out the hundreds and sometimes over a thousand dollars for said badge. i remembered trying to recruit my fellow journalism peer ashley samuelson to join me in what probably would have been the most epic spring break ever. unfortunately, in the end she bailed on me, but whatever it's no biggie. i remember going to the hilton downtown for the open call and waiting in a looooong line before being herded into a small conference room. there we watched a short video of basically what being a south by volunteer entailed. they handed us many different colored papers. i mean many papers that were different colors that listed everything from a detailed description of what each crew did to the perks of volunteering (depending on how many hours you work).  i zoned in on the free t shirt and music wristband option that required 40 hours of work within less than a week. in my head i devised a plan in which i would work in the morning and afternoon and go see bands at night. we were told that everyone had to sign up for a minimum three shifts of registration crew since it involved the registration of every single one of the tens of thousands of attendees. with the images of interacting with extremely attractive band guys from faraway places fluttering through my mind, i made a mad dash to the adjacent conference room, which was lined with tables.  the long row of rickety folding tables for the reg crew was in the center of the room, like the eye of the storm. it was surrounded by a massive crowd of eager volunteer-to-be's swarming to get the good shifts in a room full of  papers and laptops and scribbled email adresses and those pesty "are you keeping track of how many hours you have"-s. it was very fast paced, and very nerve wracking. anyways after i signed my soul away to the reg crew, i decided to pursue a crew that was in charge of managing the auditorium shores stage. the guy behind this table looked quite grizzly, and very bored. he told me that basically it was riding around in a golf cart all day. hm. i told him i'd think about it and ventured out to find the "promotional materials" crew. my lovely purple paper described it as giving south by attendees their tote bag of freebies after they register. it sounded easy enough. i really wanted to join the one that gets to put up all of the sponsor's signs in all the different venues, but to my dismay it was full. after i rid myself of my remaining hours, i walked through the large doorway into the hall and found that the whole process had only taken about thirty minutes. to my right, and even longer line to get into the first, smaller conference room extended out and endlessly looped around itself. i breathed a sigh of relief, and immediately inhaled the next breath nervously. i was sixteen at the time, with the minimum age being, well, sixteen. i thought of what my mom said, being surrounded by these older, and sometimes much older, strangers. the age difference between me and those now behind me still in the conference room was kind of harrowing. but then i thought about how it was my dream to someday work in the music industry, specifically here in austin. it would give me a glimpse into the world i aspired to belong to. i thought of the new friends i would (probably) make, and the stories that would blossom from such a learning experience, and, obviously, the incredible music i would encounter. however, in the end, my mom did not approve, and i was and still am left with the the notion of what could have been.

for those of you who are interested in this potentially life altering event,

the open calls for volunteers are on sunday january 25th from 2:00 P.M. to 5:00 P.M. and also january 26th from 6:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M.